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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25552090">The Way to Redemption</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmorySkywalker/pseuds/EmorySkywalker'>EmorySkywalker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Bendemption, Dancing, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Force Dyad (Star Wars), Gingerflower, Gingerrose - Freeform, Healing, Huxdemption, Leia is not dead, Sharing a Bed, Space Mom Leia Organa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:07:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25552090</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmorySkywalker/pseuds/EmorySkywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn doesn't shoot Hux on the Finalizer, but decides to take him with them, so Hux ends up at the Resistance. He's not their prisoner, but cannot leave the base. </p><p>Ben Solo is taken back to the Resistance after Exegol. Rey and Leia take care of him.</p><p>How can these two men find their way back to their real self, how can they cope with the crimes they commited? Don't worry, Rey and Rose are there to guide them! :)</p><p>This is mainly GingerRose (like 2/3), with a hint (1/3) of Reylo. :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/KianaDameron/gifts">KianaDameron</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm a hard-core Reylo, but since I discovered the GingerRose ship, I can't get it out of my head, so here we go...<br/>This is kind os a fix-it, and I'm telling you, I'm fixing everything here :D Leia is definitely not dead (not on my watch), and Hux and Ben Solo both get their redemption.</p><p>I'll try to alternate Ben's story and Hux's story by chapter, we'll see how this goes. I have most of the story done, but it's a bit complicated because of the timeline, so I'll try to update weekly.</p><p>You need to know that I changed some little details - like Rose and most of the Resistance have no idea how Generel Hux and Kylo Ren look like in real life, because they never met them. </p><p>This is for my sister's birthday, because she's my muse, and she deserves all my writing dedicated to her! &lt;3 HPD, KianaDameron!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>„Wait! Wait! Blast me in the arm! Quick!”  asked General Hux touching his upper arm to show where he wanted to be shot.</p><p>„What?!” asked Finn confused</p><p>„Or they’ll know!” explained Hux.</p><p>Finn raised his blaster to fire, then he lowered it completely. „You’re in idiot, man. They’ll know anyway. You’re coming with us.” </p><p>„What?!” now Hux was as confused as Finn previously.</p><p>„Do you want to waste more time chatting and can we go?” Finn grabbed the still hesitant Hux’s arm and dragged him through the door towards the Falcon. </p><p> </p><p>**</p><p>Rose’s heart started to beat faster when she saw the Falcon landing at base. She was so worried about her friends, and couldn’t wait to see them come back in one peace. But they were back too soon, and that could mean only one thing – they failed. She ran towards the ship and launched herself into the arms of Finn. </p><p>„What happened, Finn? Are you OK?”</p><p>It was just a quick hug knowing why they were back was more important at the moment. Finn stared at her intensly for a second as if debating if he should tell her. Rose could see Poe and Chewie rush away next to them and a very orderly man walking down on the ramp of the Falcon.</p><p>„And who’s the redhead?” she aked.</p><p>„We lost Rey...” – he finally admitted. „Or rather she lost us. And we got the spy insted. That’s him” Finn nodded towards Hux... „I need to talk to the General about what’s next.”</p><p>„Oh, Finn... I’m so sorry. But the General... Leia will know what to do. We’ll find Rey! I promise.” her eyes welled up. </p><p>„Right. I just I need to talk to Leia, cause this is killing me. Rey... she told me some things I don’t think she told anybody else, and Leia needs to know about them. Rose, can you do something about him?” – he waved in the general direction of Hux „I just can’t handle him right now.”</p><p>„Sure, Finn.”</p><p>Finn walked away with a heavy heart knowing that they don’t have much hope left. Rose followed him with her eyes wishing she could help, but she knew she couldn’t. What she could do though is taking care of the guy who was brave enough to send them intel from the First Order. </p><p>He didn’t look like anything she imagined. She thought a spy would be someone who is more badass looking. But he was military man, she could tell it from the way he stood. His spine was straigt, his face tense, lips pressed together, a little frown on his forehead. His hair is in a perfectly parted style, not even one stray hair. He was clean-shaven, and very orderly. Rose thought that if he releaxed a bit and maybe smiled, he could have been considered handsome. But at the moment, he just looked really uncomfortable, looking around, not knowing what to do. </p><p>Rose walked to him and said „Hi, buddy, welcome to the Resistance. I’m Rose. We owe you a lot for the intel you gave us. You must be very brave to infiltrate their ranks. I’m glad you made it out safe. What’s your name?”</p><p>Hux felt really surprised, he still didn’t really understand how he ended up first in the Millenium Falcon with a bunch of resistance people, then on a moon that had the wreckage of an old Death Star, and now at the Resistance Base. He felt even more surprised that this short girl was smiling at him, prasing his bravery (that was mostly made out of vengence and anger), but most of all that she didn’t know who he was. But he kept his composure, whatever was coming he was going to take, just like he took his father’s mistreatment. And Snoke’s. And Ren’s.</p><p>„I’m General Hux.”</p><p>Roses eyes grew in suprise and her mouth opened a bit.</p><p>„You’re General Hux?” she tried to wrap his head around it.</p><p>„Yes, ma’am.”</p><p>Rose didn’t know how to react. In her dreams, both Hux and Kylo Ren died very painful and slow deaths. They were responsible for the deaths of many, including Paige, her sister. Her toughts were racing in her head. General Hux was standing in front of her. But he was also the spy. What does this all mean? What was she supposed to do with him anyway? </p><p>She wanted to slap him really bad. Or kick in the shin. Or the balls, even better. And do this on repeat until he feels the pain she felt when she lost Paige. But she didn’t do any of these things. This was the Resistance, where everybody who was the enemy of the First Order was welcome. So she tried really hard to wipe all her thoughts, and did what Finn probably meant when he wanted her to handle Hux.</p><p>„Well, you’re not a general here, or anywhere anymore, I guess. You’re safe here for now, but I wouldn’t use that name if I were you. Some might find your mere presence here insulting and blast your head off. Including me. Also, definitely remove those First Order insignia from your clothing. What’s your first name?”</p><p>There wasn’t a muscle that moved on his face, but inside, his feelings were all over the place. The realization that he lost everything he worked for his whole life just hit him. But he was still alive which was definitely a plus. Who knows who long, though... And this fiery little girl just told him off. Also, it had been a long time, anybody asked his first name or used it for that matter. Maybe even he forgot it. But he didn’t. </p><p>„Armitage.” He felt weird saying it, like he was exposing himself more that he did in the last few years.</p><p>„Well, Armitage, we... and I have more urgent things to do than deal with you right now, so I’ll show you around quick so I don’t have to look at your face too long.” </p><p>He knew he was supposed to say thanks, but these rebels just dragged him here, he didn’t have to be grateful to them. He just nodded.</p><p>The girl showed him around, first, she gave him food – not as good as the First Order would have served, but it was nutritious and tasted all right. After he was done, she walked him to a tent. </p><p>	„This will be yours. It was set up just a few days ago, because we are expecting some reinforcements... But why am I telling you this...? Get cozy, this will be your spot. We eat meals together, you’ll hear a bell when it’s time. This is pretty much it. I gotta go now.”</p><p>	Hux peaked inside the tent. It was old, but seemed relatively clean. Still, it was a big change from his quarters on the Finalizer. He was not going to say a word about that. He looked back at Rose.</p><p>	„So am I to stay inside until someone comes and gets me?” he asked.</p><p>	Rose was confused „Get you for what?” </p><p>	„I assume I am a prisoner, so is this where I have to stay until I get executed or trialed or whatever that is that you do?”</p><p>	„Yes. This is your place until...” she started because she wanted to take revenge on the man. He would be confined to this tiny tent, fearing his punishment. He would deserve it for sure, but she couldn’t do it. She sighed.</p><p>	„Actually, no. I am not the one te decide such matters, but you spied for us, endanging your life for our cause. You also came here on your own free will” Rose saw Hux roll his eyes at his part. „So you’re one of us now, I guess. You can go wherever here, but as I said, I wouldn’t advertise who I was if I were you.”</p><p>	„Oh.” He looked surprised, it was the first time he had actually showed some emotions since they landed. </p><p>	Rose turned around and left. She didn’t have time to waste for Hux, when Rey was gone, and they should expect a fleet from Palpatine to destroy everything she held dear. She rushed to the debriefing room, to find there everybody who mattered. Leia was talking.</p><p>	„So the plan: we follow Rey’s signal, and we’ll have to distroy their signal tower – Finn will lead the landing team, follow-up with him, if you’re on that. The rest of us will cover them, and hope that Lando will succeed and bring back-up.”</p><p>Poe added „They will come. Good people will fight if we lead them!”</p><p>„I agree. Now, start getting ready to leave in an hour.”</p><p>In the meanwhile, Hux went into his tent, and lay down ont he mattress inside. It was dark inside. He laid on his back staring at the ceiling of the tent. He was not a general anymore. He was not with the First Order anymore. He was a traitor, just like FN2187. And he lost everything except for this life. But does this life make sense if he doesn’t have anything that made it his life? No rank, no achievments, no orders, no nothing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey was thankful that she didn’t have to fly after all that had happened on Exegol. She was both physically and emotionally drained. She defeated Palpatine, she died and had been brought back to life, that alone would have been enough to be exhausted to the core, but Ben came for her to help her. </p><p>Seeing him thrown into the abyss by Palpatine had been the hardest thing that had happened to her since her parents left her. Ben told her she was not alone, and it was true. In the moment the only thing that mattered was that he was there to fight alongside her – to make sure she was not alone facing the most evil man in the galaxy, her grandfather.</p><p>Then she died fighting Palpatine, but came back and the first thing she saw was the concerned face of Ben Solo. He was looking at her in disbelief. She was confused for a few seconds remembering that she saw him fall and that she died too, but she knew everything the instant she turned to their bond. It was open, warm and welcoming like it should have always been. </p><p>Her face lit up with understanding and she was just grateful to the Force that they were both alive. She put all her happiness into his name: „Ben!” He finally started to grasp that she was indeed alive. She was there, breathing, speaking and touching his face. Ben’s eyes teared up, still not quite sure if he could believe his senses that she was alive.  She leaned in and kissed him. She needed to show him that everything will be all right, because they are together and alive. And there was nothing in the galaxy that could tear them apart, not even death. </p><p>It just felt so right, the past now seemed to be broken, like something that they purposefully wrecked, and the present was what is should have always been like, what it was actually when they stopped hurting each other.<br/>Ben smiled the sweetest, most honest smile Rey had ever seen – his face literally beamed and Rey couldn’t help but think that she would have turned to the dark side for his smile, had he ever been able to smile at her like this. But it was a sentiment to their present, and it couldn’t have been any other way. </p><p>Then Rey felt than Ben’s conscience was slipping, and she could hardly catch him as he fell back. For a second, she felt deadly fear, something she only felt when saw Ben being thrown into the void. Losing him after what they had been through became her greatest fear. Her stomach clenched and her eyes welled up immediately, then she unconsciously touched their bond as she always did in the past year when she felt desperate, sad or lonely.</p><p>And he was there – she could feel his comforting presence on the other side of their bond. He was just unconscious, thank the Force, but it still broke her heart to see him like this.</p><p>Now, they were on the Falcon. Finn found them, and he gave her the tightest hug she had ever gotten, and she might have seen him wiping away some tears, too, but she didn’t mention it. She was openly crying. It was over and she just wanted to get home. </p><p>Home – what an interesting word, she just wanted to be where Ben is, surrounded by her resistance family – Finn, Poe, Chewie, Leia and the rest of her friends. </p><p>Finn first rejected taking Ben with them, but Chewie roared in disagreement, swept him aside and picked up Ben to carry him inside. Chewie was a giant, but he picked him up so soft and gentle that Rey realized that they probably have history together from the time when Ben was a child. Finn helped her walk inside, because she felt very weak, too. Chewie brought Ben to the sleeping quarters and put him down on the bed. </p><p>„I’ll stay here with him” Rey said.</p><p>„I’m not going to ask you to explain this to me right now, but eventually, you will have to...” answered Finn. </p><p>„I know, and I will. Please wake me up when we get back, I’m just so tired.” She murmured as she curled up next to Ben as close to him as possible, putting her hand over his chest – just to know that he was still there, just to feel him.</p><p>It seemed like a minute, when she felt someone carefully shaking her shoulder, whispering her name.</p><p>„What...?” she started then opened her eyes, saw Ben’s bloody and dirty face and she put the pieces of the puzzle together once again. „We’re there already?”</p><p>„Yep. Do you need help walking?”</p><p>„I think I’m fine” Rey answered getting up and trying her legs. They seemed to be able to hold her and move. </p><p>The ramp of the Falcon opened painfully slowly. She walked down just to see people hugging and kissing. An atmosphere of joy surrounded the base. She looked around to see whom she should greet and hug. But Finn and Chewie was already with her, and she knew Poe stayed behind to coordinate. She didn’t know who she was looking for exactly – her mind was still not ready to function fully – until she saw Leia running towards her.</p><p>The next thing she knew, she was wrapped in a bear hug, Leia’s familiar homey scent all around her.</p><p>„Sweet, sweet girl. You did it. I’m so proud of you, Rey.”</p><p>She was overwhelmed by her love – she needed it so bad. Leia became a mother figure for her, one the wouldn’t leave her, and who loved her for who she was. Despite who she was, even when Rey herself had know idea about it. And then she remembered, and whispered in her ear, her voice cracking.</p><p>„He’s on the Falcon... Ben... He’s not conscious... but he’s here...</p><p>„I knew you would bring him home.”</p><p>Leia slowly let her go, and kept her hands on her arms asking „Are you, ok, Rey?”</p><p>„I’m just so tired, and I’m glad that you’re here to take care of Ben...” she almost finished the sentence as „and me.” But she knew it would be too daring to put herself on the same level as her son. Leia seemed to read her thoughts,  „...and you, sweetheart. You, too.” She made sure Rey understood that she meant it, and slowly started to distance herself. „Now, let me see Ben!”</p><p>Leia knew her way around the Falcon, and she headed straight for the sleeping quarters. She rushed to the bed Ben was sleeping on and sat on the edge. Ben’s face looked yound and peaceful, she reached out and hesitated a moment before she touched his face. </p><p>He didn’t wake up, but he frowned a little. Poor boy, she thought, This is too much for just person, you need so much healing. She stayed there a bit until Chewbacca came in and said something.</p><p>„He does look bad, but he’ll be fine. Let’s take him to the Medbay.”</p><p>***</p><p>Hux fell asleep with dark thoughts, to wake up to some really loud noises. They sounded celebratory, but he wasn’t sure. What the kriff would the Resistance celebrate? He quickly got up and made his way to the center of the Base. X-wings and other ships landed everywhere around, people were hugging and kissing. He couldn’t make out what was going on.</p><p> </p><p>He looked around trying to find anything that would give him a tip. Such disorder, he thought. He tried to ask a few people, but nobody listened to him. He finally spotted Rose nearby – she would tell her what this was.</p><p>„Miss Rose?” he advanced on her, and put his hand on her shoulder. „What happened?”</p><p>Rose yelled at him „We won. We defeated your stupid First Order.” </p><p>„What do you mean you won?” he asked after.</p><p>„Palpatine is dead, and his star-destroyer fleet is gone, too. No more war!” and she turned to the next person to hug them. </p><p>Hux just stood in the middle of this all and didn’t understand, how this all happened in one day. Yesterday, he had been a general of the First Order and a spy, and today Palpatine and the First Order was defeated and he was in the middle of the celebrations at the Resistance base. </p><p>He felt a gentle touch on his arm. He turned around to see an older woman with beautiful breads in his hair. She was short, but radiated authority – a different kind that he experienced at the First Order. She wasn’t intimidating, instead she looked rather kind – yet he could feel she was in charge. She also remotely reminded him of someone, but he couldn’t remember who.</p><p>„You’re Hux, aren’t you?” she asked. „I’m Leia. Or General Organa – that is probably how you know me. Sorry I couldn’t greet you earlier, but I want you to know that today would not have been possible without you. Come on, let’s talk while everyone is occupied, shall we?”</p><p>Hux wasn’t one who could be rendered speechless easily, but this woman did it. All he could do was nod. Leia lead him out of the mass of people by his arm, into a private nook.  <br/>„You helped us, yet you also belonged to the First Order. I am afraid that if we let you go, you might cause us some trouble. You know what I mean?” Leai contemplated. „Please, tell me, do you have family? A wife, children? Or parents you take care of?” she asked.</p><p>Hux looked at her in disbelief. „No, ma’am.”</p><p>Leia nodded feeling a bit lighter. „It is a lot easier then. In this case, I plan to keep you around as an informant with first hand information on the First Order. Of course, you are under no obligation to obey my orders or do what I ask you.” She slowly looked at him searching for any indication of what he thought. ”But you will have to stay and live with us here, so you might as well make yourself useful and make something meaningful out of it. And I hope that with time, we will grow on you, and you won’t find the Resistance...” she gestured „whatever you find it now?”</p><p>„Undisciplined, disorganized and a loathsome group of rebel scum?” Hux said defiantly. The woman was unbelievebly welcoming considering who he was, and he should have been grateful, but he couldn’t find it in himself.</p><p>„Well, yes, that.” She admitted sighing.</p><p>„You should just have me executed.” He offered madly.</p><p>„Do you want to be executed?” she challenged him.</p><p>„No!” he snapped. „But neither do I want to be your slave!”</p><p>„Armitage. I think you misunderstood me.” She remained calm and collected through his yelling. „You can’t leave base, but you are free to live here however you may see fit. Within certain boundaries of course. We would appreciate your help as part of this community, that is all. But you helped us, you spied for us, why?”</p><p>„I didn’t care if you win, I just needed Kylo Ren to lose! He lost, so I win.” he said with conviction.</p><p>Understanding gleamed in Leia’s eyes, and a moment of sadness made her eyebrows flinch.<br/>„I am sorry, he hurt you.” She touched his arm, but Hux moved away. „And I understand that what is happening is painful for you. I do. Every war has casualities. We lose loved ones, we lose time, and we lose parts of ourselves. It’s hard to heal. But I’m offering you a chance to do just that. I’m giving you a job, a purpose and people to help you through. It won’t be an easy path, but I don’t think the future will be easy for any of us.”</p><p>Hux didn’t say anything. She was right, he knew it, but he was mad. He didn’t know who or what he was mad at, it was part of him grieving his life. He was alive, but in a way, he lost his life.</p><p>Leia stood up to leave, but before she went back to the celebrations, she added one more thing „I will ask Rose to help you with your new life here, however you decide about what I said.”</p><p>Hux walked back to his tent. He heard the bell for dinner, but he was not going to give them the chance to rub their victory under his nose. He was tired. Not physically, but tired of being alive, dealing with everything that was happening to him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hux woke up to someone yelling his name in front of his tent. He stumbled to the entrance, still half sleeping and found Rose standing there. As soon as he appeared, she started talking without a greeting.</p><p>„Leia ord... asked me to chaperon you around, so I brought you some clothes that won’t you get mistaken for a First Order General. Also, you’ll find sleeping clothes and some toiletries in here. Please, let me know if you need anything else, though I rather you don’t! Get ready, I’ll be back in 10 minutes to take you to breakfast!” she ordered and handed Hux a bag supposedly full of clothes. </p><p>She left without waiting for an asnwer.</p><p>Armitage just got ready when Rose arrived back. He felt weird in civilian clothes that he haven’t worn in a long time. He picked black pants and a dark grey shirt with a light jacket. They were about his size, though a bit big at the shoulders. He wondered whom they used to belong. He tried to make his hair, but without his usual hair products it was a losing game. He organized it the best he could, but he still felt like a bum.</p><p>They headed to the dining hall and Rose talked again</p><p>„Ok, se we had a debriefing this morning - that is when I got this assignment of chaperoning you – and eveyone was ordered to be nice to you. So, nobody will throw tomatoes at you, but just know that nobody likes you around here... Anyways, as much as I hate doing this, Leia asked me to take care of you, so I will. I am your go-to person if you have any problems or you need anything. She told me that you might work with her and Poe, but I will be around at lunch and after work till dinner. Any questions?”</p><p>Hux nodded processing the information.</p><p>They arrived to the dining hall and Rose showed Hux how the line worked. She was also surprised that he hadn’t eaten since he arrived. They took seats at a long table, and seemed to be avoided by everyone, until a tall, long dark haired young woman sat down next to Rose, facing Hux.</p><p>„Hey guys! Rose, how are you? Is this our spy?” she asked looking at Hux, who didn’t know if he was allowed to say anything. </p><p>The woman extended her hand „I’m Kiana, Poe’s fiance” then she gestured towards the other table, where Poe was sitting, and when he heard his name, he looked up and smiled at her.</p><p>„Hux.” He introduced himself automatically, then remembered what Rose told her earlier. „I mean, Armitage. I’m Armitage.”</p><p>„Hi, Armitage. Sorry Poe didn’t want to come over, but he said something about insults and a mom joke? I’m not sure what he was talking about... Anyways! I wanted to come over to say hi and welcome you. I imagine this is a big change for you, how are you handling it?”</p><p>„I remember his mom joke. It was a bad one.” Hux said sourly. „But he seemed happy to see me when I saved his life.” He paused. „I am not sure I’m handling it, I am just going with whatever happens. But everything is in such disorder here – I couldn’t even fix my hair.”</p><p>He saw Kiana looking at his hair. </p><p>She said „I don’t see any problem with your hair. It looks OK to me. What do you think, Rose?”</p><p>Rose just murmured a „sure” and she was happy someone „entertained” Hux and she could eat her breakfast in peace. </p><p>Rose walked Armitage to Leia after breakfast, and finally she was free of him. </p><p>When she walked back to lunch that she could have spent with Finn or Poe or literally anybody, but with Hux on her neck, she was sure that lunch will be a lonely experience, because no way, Kiana will join them again. To her surprise, when she arrived, Hux was already there, in conversation with Kiana. Nobody was around them of course, so she sighed, took her food and joined them.</p><p>She waited for them to finish, and when there seemed to be a natural stop at their conversation, she asked Kiana „why are you so nice to him?”</p><p>Kiana seemed surprised: „Oh, it’s just that I remember when I first got here, and I didn’t know anybody, but I was too shy to go and talk to people. Even if everybody was really nice and welcoming, I just couldn’t. Leia found out somehow, and she showed up at random times and introduced me to people, and Poe of course. So I just know how hard it is to be new here. And I guess it’s harder if you come from a background that... well, Armitage’s background. So I thought, I’d be the nice one this time.”</p><p>„But Kiana, don’t you understand? This man is the reason so many of us died...” she thought of Paige, but didn’t say. „He deserves being alone, and nobody being nice to him!” she stood up with tears in her eyes. „Leaving” she murmured and relocated next to Finn, who gave her a tight sidehug and sent a threatening look to Hux.</p><p>Rose was happy when she finished his work for the day, but then she realized that one more meal with Hux was ahead of her. She convinced Finn to join them. It was more like begging, but the loyal friend Finn was, he said yes.</p><p>So they sat down in front of Hux.</p><p>„Miss Rose, and uh... FN...” he started greeting them.</p><p>„His name is Finn” Rose interrupted raising her voice. „Finn.”</p><p>„Finn.” Hux repeated. „I guess we are both traitors, now.” He stated without any feeling and kept eating his soup.</p><p>„Don’t you dare talking to him like that! You have nothing... literally nothing in common!” Rose angry-whispered. „Shut up, eat your food and be glad to be alive!”</p><p>He nodded and bowed his head eating, as Rose and Finn were having a quiet conversation.</p><p> </p><p>While Hux had started his first days with the Resistance, Ben was unconscious for days, but Rey or Leia was always beside him in case he woke up. Rey was so tired that she kept falling asleep, so Leia had to order her to rest, and promised that she would alert Rey when Ben wakes up. Not that Rey wouldn’t sense it anyway.</p><p>It was Leia’s turn, when he eventually regained consciousness. Ben’s eyelids trembled and slowly opened. He looked around in search of something that would tell him where he was. The first familar thing that he saw was his mother’s face. He felt like waking up from a nightmare. He slightly remembered he had done something horrible and his mother should be angry at him, but her face was so full of concern and love that he couldn’t remember what it was.</p><p>„Mom?” his voice was barely a whisper. He cleared his throat. „Where am I?”</p><p>„This is the Medbay. You broke a few ribs, dislocated your ankle and had some other minor injuries. But you’re pulling through, Dear, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you. And Rey will, too. I’m sure she’s already on her way here.” She said gently.</p><p>And the moment he heard Rey’s name it all came back to him weirdly in reverse order – Rey kissing him, Palpatine, being thrown into the void, Exegol. The Death Star, and being stabbed, and Leia’s message for him, his father. And everything before that. It was so painful that a tear escaped from his eye and he turned his head away from Leia.</p><p>„I... killed... Han. Dad.” he started with the most painful of them.</p><p>„Son...” Leia started to answer, but Ben interrupted.</p><p>„I don’t deserve to be called that. I’m a monster.” </p><p>„Benjamin Organa Solo!” she was fighting her tears „You ARE my son, no matter what. You did what you did, but neither of us can change that, nor the fact that I am your mother and I will always love you no matter.”</p><p>„Mom, I...” Ben was trying to find the words – how sorry he was, how ashamed and guilty he felt, how he should be executed, but even that would be an easy way out – but there were no words.</p><p>„I know, honey, I know. Come here!” she invited him into a hug. He had to sit up which wasn’t easy, but he needed this hug more than anything. Leia wasn’t tall, and with Ben in the bed, they were about the same height. She stroked his back, and his hair, while he cried silent tears into her neck. She comforted him the way she did, when he was a child. </p><p>„Mom is here, Benny, it’s ok, we’ll figure this out... I’m so glad you found your way back to to light, back to us. We missed you so much, son. I love you, Ben, and I know you can do this. You were always our precious child, and you will always be. Ben, you’re home, you’re safe, honey...</p><p>They were like this for minutes... When they let go, Ben didn’t lay back down but stayed sitting, and let Leia gently wipe away his tears and brush his hair back from his face.</p><p>„Mom, you’re the leader of this... the Resistance, you know you’ll have to execute me or punish me severly, even if you have forgiven me, which I don’t expect you to...” Ben’s voice was quiet, but determined.</p><p>„That’s not how we do things here, Ben. Punishment and aggression just bear more of its own kind and that’s the least we need right now. Besides, who would we punish exactly by executing you? Rey would be devastated if something happened to you, let alone your poor mother. Haven’t she gone through enought already?” she asked lightly. „And Ben, I miss Han every day immensly, more then I could tell, but I know he’s forgiven you and so have I. It’s not an easy thing, but I chose to forgive you, because I can’t lose you both... When we sent you away... That was the worst decision of my life, I wish every day that I could go back and change it.” Leia sighed. „That’s when I lost you both. I have regrets, too. And we won’t ever know what would have happened if I train you instead of Luke or you don’t start to learn the ways of the Force at all. I was afraid of my own darkness to face yours, so I will be the last one to put all the blame on you. It is at least half on me, if not more. I am your mother, and I gave up my responsibility for you. That should have never happened. So stop thinking about being punished and start thinking about how to restart. Your life, the Galaxy, our family. And of course, there is Rey.”</p><p>Ben was drinking all her words, he always found his mom an all-knowing, wise person, who always knew what to say or how to handle a problem. Her comfort was missing from his life for a very long time. It was nice to trust her, to give up authority and strength, and give the power away to someone who actually cared about him and had his best interest in her heart. When she mentioned Rey, his eyes softened, and noone could have notice it, only a mother. </p><p>„She’ll be here soon, I know you sense it, too. Don’t worry, I won’t tell her any of your awkward baby stories. At least, not when you are there.” Leia patted his hand smiling, and he smiled back, too. </p><p>This was when Rey arrived – she ran into the room without knocking to find two people looking at each other in silent love – Ben in bed and Leia standing next to him. Rey halted. </p><p>„I’m sorry. I’ll come back later...” she turned around, when heard Ben’s deep voice calling her his arm reaching out to her.</p><p>„No! Please don’t go!”</p><p>She looked at Leia who nodded. „Please, do stay. We need some joy in here.”</p><p>Rey still couldn’t handle how happy the sight of Ben made her, and she knew that Ben knew it, because a smile started to creep up on his face. „Can I hug you?” she asked and waiting for no answer she launched herself on him from the opposide side of Leia. She pushed her face to his and put her hands around his neck. It was a very awkward hug, but she felt his big arms around herself and smiled. She suspected it was very inappropriate to do this in front of his mom, but she didn’t care. </p><p>„Ben.” She just said his name, because she wanted to feel it again on her lips. It was natural, but exciting and new.</p><p>She slowly pulled away blushing a little because she knew that Leia was watching. </p><p>„Uh, so how are you feeling?”</p><p>„Like someone who was thrown into an abyss, climbed out of it, and transferred most of his life force to another person, and a couple of other stuff.”</p><p>Leia chuckled. „You couldn’t deny you are a Solo even if you wanted to.”</p><p>They all quited, because it made them think of Han. </p><p>Leia broke the silence first „I’ll leave you two alone, I’m sure you have a lot to discuss. Ben, I’ll talk to you later. And Rey, please make sure he doesn’t die of sadness as his grandmother, it’s not a nice way to go... I love you, Ben, please know that. And I love you, too, Rey.” </p><p>Rey’s eyes grew, when Leia said she loved her, too. Nobody ever said that to her. She knew people liked her in general, Finn and Poe were her best friends, who probably did love her, but never said it, but hearing it from someone... especially someone whom she looked up to so much and loved so much, it was a warm feeling in her chest.</p><p>When she finally managed to collect herself, she found Ben’s observing eyes on her. She felt that he didn’t want to invade her privacy so even though now they kept their bond connection open, he wasn’t using it. He was holding her hand, stroking it with his thumb. It seemed that this hand thing was their thing.</p><p>„You’re mom is... she’s something else.” Rey said.</p><p>„Wanna share? She seemed ok with it.” Ben’s eyes were still a bit red from crying, but were peaceful and calm now. Rey registered the feelings in her mind. She hardly ever saw him express feelings - Kylo Ren always wore a mask. Sometimes an actual one, sometimes one of a face without emotions.</p><p>„You’d share her with me?”</p><p>„It seems, I kind of already do...” he looked down, away from her.</p><p>„You mind?” Rey was confused.</p><p>„You have the Falcon, Chewie and my mom loves you, I’m sure Dad loved you, too, everyone here loves you. You are powerful, yet kind and compassionate. You are all I should have become...” he confessed.</p><p>Rey decided to sit down on the edge of his bed. Ben saw it, and made room for her.</p><p>„Ben, you are all those things. You have all those things! Ok, except for the everyone loves you part, most people probably hate you, but you’ll change that soon enough. I know it.”<br/>
„Did you see that solid and clear, too?” he asked sarcastically.</p><p>„I was right about you turning, so you can stop the sarcasm.”</p><p>„Sorry.”</p><p>They sat not saying anything for a bit. Their bond was open, but they needed to actually reach out to read each other’s thoughts and they didn’t do that. But it was like they were connected by a thread, and each feeling touched this thread differently. Now that they were this close physically, they practically had to keep out each other’s feelings.</p><p>Rey pulled her legs up and crossed them.  They talked about random things, Rey told him how she ended up with the Resistance, and Ben told he rabout his childhood. They were talking for hours, and Rey really enjoyed gettint to know Ben Solo, but it was time to talk about the more sensitive matters.</p><p>„Ben, how did you know that we were a dyad? And what does that mean exactly?” asked Rey. </p><p>„There was a prophecy about a dyad, and the text didn’t say much about it, but when I read it, I knew that was us. Just like you knew it immediately when I told you.”</p><p>„Ok, and what does that mean exactly?” she was so curious and wanted to know more about their special connection.</p><p>„I didn’t find too many resources about it, because it’s an extremely rare thing, like once in a millenia. And what I found, weren’t particularly helpful. What we know so far is we can contact each other, no matter how far we are, we can sense each others thoughts and feelings, transfer objects between ourselves, I’m almost sure that there is a way that we could somehow teleport to each other, but I don’t know how that works. But I think we can find out more if we study it together.” Ben glanced up at her to try to get a read on how she feels about that. Then added „I imagine it as a thread that connects our souls, figuratively speaking.”</p><p>„And what does it mean for us?” These were dangerous waters, Rey knew, but she couldn’t help it, she needed to know.</p><p>„I mean more or less, we could keep it under control in the past, I guess. So now that we don’t have to kill each other anymore, I think we can figure out a way so that you can live your life regardless of me” Ben’s face was emotionless, nothing to give away what he was really thinking.</p><p>„Oh.” She was taken aback by his answer. She didn’t expect a marriage proposal, but living her life with him not being a part of it sounded painful.</p><p>„You know, I’m really tempted to go into your mind and find out what you feel and why the kriff you would say things like that.” </p><p>Ben run his hand through his hair, he was at a loss. He gestured with his hand, but words followed only a few moments later. „I don’t understand why you are mad.”</p><p>„I just spent hours of talking to you. Do you think I have nothing else to do? I decided to be here with you, because I wanted...” she grabbed his hand „I... we just got you back, can you just... I don’t know. Not push me away. We could maybe be friends?</p><p> „Friends?” he asked in the same tone, but Rey knew he was surprised that she offered it. She nodded.</p><p>„Ok. Friends, then.” He confirmed.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for being this slow with the update, I was immersed into my other WIP (Crossing Lines), because I was stuck with this one. I wanted Hux and Ben meet after they land with te Falcon, but well, that will happen next chapter (because I'm still not sure how that would go down).</p><p>Also TW: that there are some suicidal thoughts in this one, if that is something you'd rather not read, I suggest you only read the second part after the asterixes (I don't know what's the plural :D).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hux towered over Rose as she was finishing her breakfast at another table.</p><p> </p><p>„Miss Rose, can I talk to you for a second?” asked her at breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>„Sure. I’m done with this anyway.” She took her tray back to the counter and stopped at the side of the Cantina. He raised her eyebrows at Hux, and he started to speak:</p><p> </p><p>„I know you don’t like... being around me, so please, don’t make a problem for yourself. You don’t have to sit with me at meals, or help me in any ways. I’m fine. And I understand.”</p><p> </p><p>„Do you now?” she asked mockingly. „Do you understand that millions died because of you? Whole planets were wiped out of existence? That my sister Paige died because of you?”</p><p> </p><p>Rose felt tears pouring from her eyes as she looked up at Hux, who pressed his lips more than usual.</p><p> </p><p>„I didn’t know... Your sister, I mean. I am so so sorry...”</p><p> </p><p>Rose was a genuinely a peaceful person, but not when it came to her sister whom she loved fiercely. She slapped Hux.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone around was watching them as Rose screamed „Don’t you dare talking about her! I will never forgive you for what you did, you evil, evil man. I wish Finn had left you to die, I wish you were dead.” Eyes followed her as she stormed out of the dining hall.</p><p> </p><p>Now, all eyes are on Hux, who bowed his head and tried to look invisible as he walked towards the exit. He quickened the pace of his steps and left the Cantina.</p><p> </p><p>He needed to be alone. It felt like he couldn’t breathe. He needed more oxygen, more space. He started running when nobody could see him. He quickly left the base, he was in the forest now. He felt like Rose just opened a dam, and his feelings, his guilt was washing over him, suffocating him.</p><p> </p><p>He never thought of the people that died because of him. They were just unknown, faceless nobodies, who needed to die to bring order to the galaxy, to make it better. You have to destroy to be able to restart, to have a clean slate. But one of them was Rose’s sister. No wonder, she hated him so passionately. She had every right to do so.</p><p> </p><p>And she was right to think that it would have been better if he had died on the Finalizer. He was a nobody now. He is just a useless weak-willed boy, as his father used to refer to him. He wanted to prove him wrong, but couldn’t – he was right about him... Everything he had worked for his whole life was lost to him forever.</p><p> </p><p>His life didn’t make sense anymore. Not that it did before, but he made himself believe that he was working for something worthy. What he did in reality was killing millions of innocent people and for what end? He had been so wrong about himself. About the galaxy. About everything. He should not be alive. He wanted to be dead.</p><p> </p><p>He was walking in the woods now, suddenly all his energy seemed to have left him – he dropped to his knees. Covering his face, he felt his heart racing when he heard a voice calling his name.</p><p> </p><p>„Armitage! Armitage!”</p><p> </p><p>When she finally found him minutes later, on the ground, Rose sat down in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>„Thank the Force, I found you.” Rose felt relieved. „Are you’re ok? I’m sorry. I went too far, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t wish you were dead.”</p><p> </p><p>„I do.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose stayed silent. She didn’t know what to do – nothing has changed, he was still a killer. The killer of Paige. And she still hated him.</p><p> </p><p>Hux was now resting his forehead on his knee and was looking at the ground, his hair uncharacteristically messy and now falling into his eyes. His right hand fiddling with some sticks, as he confessed:</p><p> </p><p>„I never really fully realized... What was the cost of my ambitions. Those people, they... they were people. With lives, with names, with families. And you just gave a name to one of them...” he struggled with the words. „It makes it all the more real. And it makes me a mass murderer. You don’t have to aplogize when you are right, I should die. I should already be dead.”</p><p> </p><p>It was so heart-breaking to hear that Rose couldn’t help, but she reached out to touch his hand and give him comfort.</p><p> </p><p>„You being dead wouldn’t help anybody... Wouldn’t help Paige. But if you are alive, you can try to fix some things. You cannot raise the dead, but you could prevent more deaths... You could do that.”</p><p> </p><p>Hux pulled away his hand „I don’t deserve your kindness, Miss Rose.”</p><p> </p><p>„I won’t argue with you on that. But that doesn’t change that I don’t want you to do anything <em>stupid</em>. I need you to tell me that you won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>He looked up at her, his eyes open and honest. „I won’t, Miss Rose.”</p><p> </p><p>When she got the confirmation, she stood up and left him. This is his punishment – feeling the weight of his crimes, Rose thought.</p><p> </p><p>She gave herself the liberty not to interact with him again. She could finally sit with her friends at meals, especially with Finn and Jannah. But as days went on, Rose was perplexed to see that people started to show up around Hux’s table. First, they were just sitting at the same table leaving him alone, then some even said a few words to him. He didn’t seem to have long or deep conversations, it was to early for people to trust him, but they acknowledged his existence.</p><p> </p><p>Hux was never a man of many words, and he always had to be careful with those few that he actually said. But when people talked to him, he answered. Poe was among the first ones to come around. Probably because he loved teasing Hux by calling him Hugs, and make jokes at his expense, especially that he never complained. He was lucky that someone bothered to talk to him at all.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>In the meanwhile, Ben was finally ready to get out of medbay. After he regained consciousness, he had to rest for a few days. Leia made sure he was always getting enough food and Rey took it on herself to visit him every time she got the chance.</p><p> </p><p>A week after they arrived back from Exegol, Rey found Ben getting ready to leave the medbay. He was sitting on a chair putting his boots on, when she entered.</p><p> </p><p>„Ben!” she beamed. „Leia told me that you feel good enough to get out of here. I could show you around if you want! Introduce you to some people, maybe.”</p><p> </p><p>„I’m not sure it is a good idea for you to walk around with Kylo Ren.” he looked up at her.</p><p> </p><p>„Don’t call yourself that, Ben! And I don’t think a lot of people know how Kylo Ren looked like without his helmet on. And those who do had a talk with Leia. So come on!”</p><p> </p><p>Rey took Ben around, first the dining hall, the briefing room, the training course – where she got really excited about the possibility of training together:</p><p> </p><p>„I never really had anyone to train with. We could practice the different saber styles, and add challenges to the training course for each other.”</p><p> </p><p>„Rey...” Ben said apologically „I don’t know if I wanted to keep on training. I mean, I just want a break from the Force for a while, I think...”</p><p> </p><p>„Are you afraid? That you would feel the Darkness again?” she asked compassionately.</p><p> </p><p>„No, I’m done with that. And for good. It is just that I really want to do other things for a bit.” he seemed to be deep in thought.</p><p> </p><p>Rey didn’t want to disturb his thinking but then the idea just burst out of her „You know what?! We should take the Falcon for a ride!”</p><p> </p><p>„The Falcon’s here?” he frowned.</p><p> </p><p>„You can pilot, if you want.” She smiled up at him.</p><p> </p><p>When Ben took his first glance at the Falcon, Rey saw the same enthusiasm in his eyes that was probably in hers, too. „I missed this peace of junk.”</p><p> </p><p>„I suspected that. I don’t know how many times you tried to snatch it out of my hand or shoot it down... isn’t she a beauty?”</p><p> </p><p>„Yeah, a rusty pile of garbage type of beauty. But it is home.” Ben said as they walked on the ramp.</p><p> </p><p>„Don’t call her that. I know it was your fathers, but he kind of trusted me with it... But I’m willing to share, if you are nice. But only... if you are nice!”</p><p> </p><p>„All right. Let me just walk around.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey followed him as he rediscovered the familiar places. He even climbed down to the smuggling compartments, and helped Rey down, too.</p><p> </p><p>„You know, when I was small, Dad and me played hide-and-seek, and this was my favorite hiding place. Of course, he knew I was here, but he pretended to look for me everywhere else. I loved it.</p><p> </p><p>„Sounds like a fun game.” Rey said gently.</p><p> </p><p>Ben turned away from Rey and hit wall with his fist. „I was never good enough for him.”</p><p>She could feel his anger through their bond, but knew that it was not the boiling, raging red feeling that would possess him as Kylo Ren. He could contain in, control it now. She stepped closer and hugged Ben from the back. His right was till on the wall where he punched it, but when he felt her touch he relaxed, turned around in her embrace, and wrapped his arms around her too.</p><p> </p><p>„He was a cool dad, I always wanted to be like him. A pilot, a smuggler, a space-pirate that everybody liked. When he was around, he was fun and caring, but when he left, I always felt it was because of me. Because I was not good enough for him. If I had been, he would have stayed. I heard him and Mom talk about me saying that there is too much Vader in me. I didn’t even know what that meant for a while. But they didn’t like it, so I know that something was very wrong with me. That he left because if me.I could never be the son, he wanted me to be. I tried so hard, and I failed.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey felt his hands tighten around her.</p><p> </p><p>„He loved you the way you are. He probably wasn’t the best at being a dad, but he died for you. He believed in you until the end.”</p><p> </p><p>„I killed him Rey.” He whispered. „I thought that killing him would help me feel... less like a failure. It didn’t. I feel like that more than anytime before.” A tear dropped from his eye.</p><p> </p><p>He rested his head on Rey’s shoulder, who gently stroked his hair. Their bond was dripping from his guilt and sadness.</p><p> </p><p>„You’re not a failure, Ben. We cannot help the Darkness that is inside us, but we <em>can</em> choose to fight it. You made some mistakes, but you made your choice. That is who you are! I wouldn’t be here, if it hadn’t been for you. <em>That</em> was your choice.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t know what he did to deserve this angel that never failed to make him calm and connected. She knew who Ben Solo was, when all everybody saw was Kylo Ren. He found that he didn’t want to care. Her words made his heart a tiny bit lighter and he hoped that some day maybe he would be able to forgive himself, too.  </p><p> </p><p>They stayed like that for a few minutes, then pulled away from each other. Ben climbed out of the smuggling department then offered his hand to help Rey. She took it and and he couldn’t help but send her a smug smile:</p><p> </p><p>„I knew you would eventually take my hand.”</p><p> </p><p>„Yet, you are the one who turned, so technically <em>you</em> took <em>my</em> hand.” she replied.</p><p> </p><p>They walked towards the cockpit and Rey noticed that Ben was still holding her hand. Usually she was the touchy one, who reached for his hand, who hugged him. She was the one who kissed him on Exegol. It felt natural, like breathing, and she knew from their bond that he was comfortable with it, too. But it was never him, who reached for her.</p><p> </p><p>As she looked down at their hands, Ben followed her gaze, and immediately pulled his hand away:</p><p> </p><p>„Sorry, I didn’t realize...”</p><p> </p><p>Rey said with her eyes on the ground „I like it when you hold my hand.”</p><p> </p><p>„You do?” and he took her hand again, this time, entwining their fingers and carefully watched her to find out what she meant. She also felt him in her head, not invading but rather testing what she is willing to share with him. She blushed and heard his voice only in her head. „Ah, you do.”</p><p> </p><p>When they reached the cockpit, Rey gestured to the captain’s seat and asked „Will you do the honors?”</p><p> </p><p>„With pleasure” he said and only let her hand go when he sat down.</p><p> </p><p>Rey took the place of the co-pilot and opened a channel to the Base:</p><p> </p><p>„Hello, Base, it’s Rey, we’re taking the Falcon for a ride, just wanted to check in.”</p><p> </p><p>The answer came immediately in Kaydel’s voice:</p><p> </p><p>„Sure, go ahead, who is with you? Chewie?”</p><p> </p><p>„No, it’s actually Ben...” and when there was no answer on the other side, she added „...Solo.”</p><p> </p><p>„All right. Fly safe!” she heard Kaydel finally.</p><p> </p><p>While she was talking, Ben got the Falcon up in the air and they were already headed to the atmosphere. Rey turned to him to ask if he needed any help, but he looked confident. And handsome – that was the word that came immediately to her mind – his hair finally attended to, clean, clothes and his face is finally alive. So so alive with excitement. He was still punching buttons on the dashboard, but then looked back at her and smiled:</p><p> </p><p>„What?”</p><p> </p><p>„You’re every bit your father and take it the best possible way.” She admitted.</p><p> </p><p>„And you haven’t seen what I can do.” He grinned.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please, let me know how you liked this one! :) Kudos and comments are my writing fuel. :) <br/>Also, an ideas about Ben and Hux meeting?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the very late update - I had a bad writers block on this one. I have the GingerRose plot figured out pretty much to the end, but the Reylo part, it was just a struggle for this chapter. </p><p>I still feel like the Reylo happenings are a bit faster than I would like them to, but I thought that either this or nothing. So here you got this chapter. And anyways, Ben and Rey have so much history, so I guess it's kind of OK, if things accelerate for them a bit.<br/>(Especially because it lets me finally concentrate on GingerRose that is a much slower burn :D)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey and Ben walked off the ramp of the Falcon, Ben explaining Rey how his dad flew the Kessel run in 12 parsecs. He took her hand, because she said she liked it, and if he wanted to be honest, he liked it too. Being this close to her, touching her – making sure she was close and it was real.</p><p> </p><p>They just stepped off the forest to the clearing, when he heard a familiar voice.</p><p> </p><p>„Ren!?” Armitage transformed into General Hux in a matter of seconds. His voice was full of anger and disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>Rey and Ben turned to the origin of the voice.</p><p> </p><p>„Hux?” Ben was more surprised than anything else. He was still holding hands with Rey. „How...? What...? How?!”</p><p> </p><p>Hux felt fear, shock, anger. His hands clenched into fists. Just when he started to think that things were getting better... Kylo Ren shows up with The Girl. Apparently, he had been right, when he suggested to Snoke that Kylo was attracted to Her.</p><p> </p><p>Kylo Ren had always been the privileged one. He did not only come from a royal family, but he was the grandchild of Darth Vader which meant he automatically had the favor of Snoke. More importantly, he had the Force. Hux had to work hard for everything he achieved and when Snoke died, he was put aside. Just because Kylo Ren had the Force and he could take over. Hux hated being bossed around, and that was exactly what Kylo Ren did to him. Hux loathed him... Despised him... And Ren was back. He survived, he was free and got the girl, too. </p><p> </p><p>Hux was furious. Ren stole everything from him. Everything he could have been was taken away by Kylo Ren. And now, here he was again.</p><p> </p><p>„You?!” Hux angry-whispered. „I should have known that the mighty Kylo Ren can get away with everything. You are not much that different than you make yourself believe so. You’re a traitor, a turncoat. You disgust me, Ren.” He said.</p><p> </p><p>„Don’t call me that!” Ben answered relatively calmly, but let go of Rey’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>Hux took a step closer to him. „Or what? Are you going to humiliate me? Use a Force choke on me in front of the girl?</p><p> </p><p>Ben took a threatening step towards Hux, but Rey caught his hand and whispered „Ben.”</p><p> </p><p>„Ah, you need your girlfriend to keep you in check?”</p><p> </p><p>They were standing a few meters apart, but Ben crossed it with a few long strides and punched him in the face. Hux didn’t expect him to actually do anything in front of Rey, and he helplessly stumbled backwards.</p><p> </p><p>Ben turned around and hurried off murmuring „Asshole!”</p><p> </p><p>Rey looked after him, but knew that it would be futile to go after him in his current state, so she squatted down next to Hux, who was sitting on the ground touching his face where Ben hit him to find that his nose was bleeding.</p><p> </p><p>„Are you OK, Armitage?” she asked and he had no idea how she knew his first name, because the last time they met he was known as General Hux.</p><p> </p><p>„Considering, yes.” Then he added. „Your boyfriend is a beast.”</p><p> </p><p>„Ben’s not my boyfriend.” Rey wasn’t sure why she felt the urge to say that. „But let me tell you that I expected this the least from you of all people! Finn saved you, Leia welcomed you here, people accept you, and you insult Ben with the thing you can very well be charged guilty of.”</p><p> </p><p>The Girl must have spent a lot of time with General Organa, because she started to speak with the same authority as her, and what was worse – she was right.</p><p> </p><p>„You have no idea what Kylo Ren did to me.” He answered angry as he stood up.</p><p> </p><p>Rey followed his lead and they stood face to face. He was a head taller than her, but she didn’t back down.</p><p> </p><p>„You are right, I don’t. But I very well know the things <em> you </em> did, and I hear nobody insulting you, Armitage.” She paused.  „Come on, let’s get some ice on your face.”</p><p> </p><p>Hux never trusted Force-users. They were unstable, impulsive and powerful - a dangerous mix. Yet, the Girl showed no sign of wanting to use the Force on him or hurt him in any way, even though she’d have plenty of reasons.</p><p> </p><p>They walked in silence and Rey broke it first „I’m sorry Ben hit you.”</p><p> </p><p>Armitage stopped in surprise and looked down at her frowning. „You’re mocking me?”</p><p> </p><p>Rey looked up at him with big round eyes. „What? No. Your face looks miserable and I am sorry that he punched you.” She stopped for a bit and seemed to listen to something only she could hear. </p><p> </p><p>„Let’s keep walking before you bleed out” she said gesturing towards the medbay ignoring the question.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Rey dropped off Armitage at the medbay and immediately went to look for Ben. She felt that his anger was gone and more peaceful vibes came from his side of their bond. </p><p> </p><p>She felt like she is balling up yarn as he was getting closer to Ben - and she caught a glimpse of him at the training course. He was going through it with full power and was a sight to behold. Rey stopped and in the same minute Ben did, too, looking feral bur turning his head to Rey as if he were waking up from a trance. It took him a second for his mind to catch up and his eyes to focus, but he lowered his saber and turned to Rey with his full body.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t seem to move at all - his mind was unreachable, his face emotionless as he extinguished the lightsaber. Rey closed the distance between them and looked up to him. She waited if he wanted to say something, but when he was quiet, she broke the silence:</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you said you didn’t want anything to do with the Force for a while.”</p><p> </p><p>“I needed something to channel my anger and nothing better came to mind. Doing this switches off my mind and lets my body and my instincts do what they need to.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey nodded still looking up at him, and her eyes reminded Ben of the time when they were in the turbolift before they entered Snoke’s throneroom. They were so innocent, so full of compassion, and helpfulness. He almost kissed her than and he glanced at her lips now. But no, Rey wouldn’t want that. They are a dyad and Rey is the best friend he ever had and probably will have, and he should absolutely not screw it up. </p><p> </p><p>So instead of kissing her, he went on “With Hux here… I get a daily reminder of who I was, and that is… I don’t know if I can ever get pass that.” he admitted.</p><p> </p><p>Rey took his free hand. “Ben. I told this to you once and I’m telling you again. I’ll help you. I’ll remind you every day who you <em> are </em>. You belong here. You are the cherished son of your mother. You're a Jedi.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben’s eyes flinched at the word, and Rey felt him shudder inside, too.</p><p> </p><p>“You might not be ready to accept that and it’s fine. But you are a Jedi. That isn’t something that you can just not be anymore. And you are a Solo, you are an Organa, and you are a Skywalker. And you are my dyad. You belong with me. That is who you <em> are </em>, Ben Solo.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben’s eyes grew at the last words.</p><p> </p><p>“I belong with you.” he repeated and Rey nodded. “And you belong with me.” he added and Rey nodded again.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t take it anymore, he dropped the lightsaber that was still in his right and put it in the back of Rey’s neck, pulled her closer and kissed her. It started as a chaste kiss, sweet and slow, and Rey’s hands found their place on his neck, while he put his hand on her back, pressing their bodies together.</p><p> </p><p>Rey answered to his lips with such intensity that soon it turned something more hungry, more elemental. And they just kissed, messing up each other’s hair, touching each other like there was no tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>When they stopped, both of them panted and they looked like they just had an intense training session. </p><p> </p><p>Ben was searching Rey’s eyes, looking for rejection that he got so many times from her. He remembered all those times when he offered his hand to her and wanted her to join him, but ultimately, he always let her go. On the Supremacy, on Pasaana, on the Finalizer. And it broke his heart a bit more every single time, until Rey admitted on the ruins of the Death Star that she did want to take his hand. Ben’s hand. Could she have meant it like this? He didn’t dare to hope that this time it was different.</p><p> </p><p>But it was. Her smile was more radiant than the light of a thousand suns. And it was for him.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I can be your friend anymore.” he said and leaned in for another kiss. “We belong together.” he said before their lips touched again.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Few  people saw Ben and Armitage’s interaction, but news travelled fast and Hux was sporting a black eye so soon enough everybody learnt that they were harboring not only one, but two First Order fugitives, one of whom was Kylo Ren. There were mixed feelings to say the least.</p><p> </p><p>People trusted Leia, but some were afraid that Ben would manipulate her. Some agreed with Leia’s actions saying that Ben is the only family she had left, and the road to a just society has to start with forgiveness. Others thought that Hux was the one they needed to worry about.</p><p> </p><p>The always-so-united Resistance was divided. Hux went back to being a pariah, mostly because people were afraid to be seen in his presence, because of what their friends would think. Part of the gossip was Rey holding hands with Ben, and some people were convinced that she gave up her principles for a pair of pretty eyes – and they looked at her with suspicion, too.</p><p> </p><p>Leia was not blind to the circulating gossip and she had known before that people would second-guess her decision about Armitage and Ben at some point, but the intensity of it surprised her. Ben wasn’t really bothered by it, he probably got used to not being the most popular, but it took a toll on Rey and she trained more than usual and mainly hung out with her friends, Finn, Poe and Rose.</p><p> </p><p>Leia decided to call for a debriefing for the whole Resistance. Since Exegol, a lot of people went on missions all around the galaxy, but some also joined them at base, so there were about 100 people. People didn’t know what it was about, but had their suspicions.</p><p> </p><p>She was confident and radiated authority as people stood around her. She waited for them to fall silent, and without fail, they did. She gave them an extra few seconds, while she looked around, taking her time to look into their eyes, before she started.</p><p> </p><p>„I felt that there are some things that need to be addressed, because they threaten our unity.” She took a few seconds to let her words sink. „You trusted me so far. We won the war proving your trust was not misplaced. Yet in the last few day there were voices questioning my decision regarding certain members of the Resistance. I understand where your doubts come from, and that is why I wanted to explain to you what is going on.”</p><p> </p><p>„We have Armitage Hux amongst us. General Hux of the First Order. He spied for us and gave us precious intel that helped us win the war. So don’t expect me to turn my back on him and leave him behind. Many of you have grown up in difficult circumstances – I ask you to empathize with him. He was raised to be a soldier of the First Order, and came from a hard place. Yet, he ended up helping our cause. So, in the future, refrain from insulting him both verbally or physically.”</p><p> </p><p>Armitage thanked the Stars that Leia didn’t disclose his whole story – the real reason he betrayed his whole life’s work was not a glorious one.</p><p> </p><p>„The other person I need to talk about is my son, Ben Solo. Formerly known as Kylo Ren.</p><p> </p><p>Some murmur started in the crowd as they heard the General admitting that her son was indeed Kylo Ren.</p><p> </p><p>„I, as his mother, decided to forgive him, and he had many things to forgive me. But our family’s issues are not yours, so I’m telling you why he is still alive, as your general. On Kef Bir, Kylo Ren died, and Ben Solo arised. I am not at liberty to tell you what happened exactly at Exegol. But he arrived at Rey's rescue and they faced Palpatine together. Without him, the war would have been lost as well as our best fighter, Rey. I will not punish him, his remorse is punishment enough.”</p><p> </p><p>„In the future, you will refer to these men as Armitage and Ben Solo, as the people they used to be are no more. The Resistance has always been known for its acceptance. You have experienced it yourself, you could join us no questions asked. It’s your time to return the favor and show the same generosity towards these men. In case you have any questions, you can come to me. But please know that I will not change my mind.”</p><p> </p><p>Leia finished her speech and looked around for those who wanted to challenge her. She could find none. Some people were hanging their head ashamed. Others just nodded or looked at each other. Seemed like she managed to make her point.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Do you think it was to fast with Ben and Rey? </p><p>(Sorry for the missing GingerRose content in this chapter, but the rest of this fic will concentrate on them more, I promise. In the meanwhile, let me recommend you my other GingerRose fic called Finding the Perfect Babysitter.)</p><p>I always appreciate kudos and comments! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the very long wait, but here we are... :) I mentioned before that the Reylo part of this fic is really hard for me for some reason, so I decided to tone it done a bit, and concentrate more on the GingerRose part - especially because it was what made me start writing this.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Things got better for both Ben and Armitage after Leia’s speech, though they still avoided each other and probably it was for the best.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Life Day was approaching - it was a holiday celebrated all across the galaxy, though there were some, who never before took part in the festivities. Rey was one of those who needed to get accustomed to the feeling that she actually had loved ones to be grateful for and celebrate with and she loved it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But not everybody shared her enthusiasm. Rose already felt alone, because Finn started to hang out more with Jannah, and Rose felt weird about Rey since she found out that Ben - Leia’s son was </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kylo Ren. And now, Rey was his girlfriend, or something like that, she didn’t fully understand their arrangement, but every time she saw them there were holding hands or touching in some other way. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo Ren killed Han Solo, Rey and Finn saw it. Yet, Leia and Rey treated him as a cherished family member. She wanted no part in that. One thing is having him with the Resistance, not killing him, but acting as if he hadn’t been Supreme Leader, the very person they were fighting against was a whole different story.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She heard Leia’s speech and understood it all right. Her best friend, Finn was a First Order deserter, Poe was a spice runner and there were many who came from questionable backgrounds. But none of them were responsible for the deaths of millions. She could tolerate Hux, and she didn’t have much contact with Ben Solo, but in her opinion, Rey took being friendly a bit too much to the extremes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Two of her best friends were out of reach and Poe was obviously preoccupied with Kiana, so she found herself alone at meals. Not that she sat alone, people were around her, but she just couldn’t find the energy to make small talk with them. Especially that she didn’t want small talk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With Life Day ahead of them, she realized how lonely she had been. They always celebrated together with her family, and in the past years, it was just Paige and her, but it still gave her a sense of belonging. Paige was her safe place, the one she could always count on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She missed her terribly. Her mind wasn’t occupied with the war and it meant that her brain was filled with thoughts about Paige that she couldn’t share with anyone. And it just made the loss of her sister even worse. She wasn’t sure if she should attend the festivities at all, and she wasn’t the only one who was thinking about skipping the celebration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hux knew that it was a time for commemorating one’s deceased loved ones, and he was responsible for a lot of deceasing, and did not want to offend anyone with his presence, but the preparations seemed to take up a lot of energy from everybody, so he helped out with the chores.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On Life Day, he helped decorating the trees, putting up fairy-lights, making sure the fireworks would be safe, and organizing the feast. It took a lot of time, and a lot of energy, which exhausted him more than his usual daily tasks. By the time they finished in the afternoon, he was too tired to move, that is how he ended up staying with the celebrating crowd. Hugs and kisses were on the agenda, too, and he wasn’t a fan of any of those. Besides, there was nobody who would want to share those with him… But that the General walked up to him and to his greatest surprise, enveloped him in a warm bearhug.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She was a wise woman, a mother figure to many of the Resistance fighters. Most of them lost their parents, so Force knew they needed her. Armitage wished she would be that for him, too. He never had a mother, but deep down, he craved for some motherly love. When he saw her around Ben Solo, his heart screamed with jealousy.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But this time, it was Armitage, who was the recipient of her motherly affection.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Armitage.” She took a bit before she continued. „I’m proud of you. You’ve come a long way. I’m glad you are with us...” she reached up to cup his face „Keep pushing through, it will be better with time, I promise. Just don’t give up. Happy Life Day!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage was in a haze afterwards and when he awoke from it, he found himself by the campfire still contemplating her words. It sure was not easy – he felt alone like never before. People talked to him, yes, but they didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk</span>
  </em>
  <span> to him. They never confided in him, they never really told him anything too personal.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It felt good to stare into the fire and pretend that Leia really cared about him. He tried to imagine what it would be like, if he had grown up with the Resistance, or at least not with the First Order. Maybe, he would be best friends with some of the people here. Maybe he would be respected. Maybe someone would even love him. Maybe he would be the one to make others laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He saw groups of friends around the fire. Ben and Rey were huddling together under a blanket. Kaydel and Snap seemed to have a blast with Beaumont. BB-8 entertained a group of pilots. The only other person who was alone around the fire was Rose. He felt like he should go over. They hadn’t talked since the day she slapped him. He told her, she didn’t need to babysit him and it was obviously painful for her to see him, so they kept their distance.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But as he looked at her, he noticed how small she looked. Not because she was short, but she was huddled together looking very cold, even though she sat closer to the fire than everybody else. She looked lonely. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Her bestie Finn must have had better things to do than hang out with her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Hux thought.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He liked looking at her, she looked cute with her two buns and her knees brought to her chest. Hux felt the sudden urge to go over her and start a conversation. He let out a sarcastic huff, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah, like she’d like that</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So he only watched her. Then he found himself standing up, shrugging off his coat to walk over her and put it on her. Rose looked up to see who that was, but before she could object, he was off to his tent.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, he found his coat neatly folded in front of his tent with a note saying „Thanks”. His heart warmed a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A week later, when Armitage was walking back to his tent after lunch, he heard someone crying not very deep in the woods. He followed the noise until he could make out the figure of a woman sitting on a trunk with her back to him. She stepped closer to fin that it was Rose with her shoulders shaking. He wanted to leave her alone, it was definitely not him, who should comfort her. But a branch broke loudly under his foot and the noise made her turn. Her eyes were almost begging for company. He obliged.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly walked to the tree she was sitting on and sat next to her making sure that there is a respectable space between them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t say anything. Neither did he. Hux had no idea what made her so sad and he didn’t dare to ask. He offered her a tissue that she took. That was all that happened.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Two days later, the same thing repeated, except that Armitage simply walked over and sat with her. He didn’t know what else to do. But maybe that was all she needed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose already had her problems, feeling lonely and grieving and all, and she didn’t need the additional stress of the enigma that was Armitage Hux. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why did he sit with her in the woods. Why didn’t he say anything? What was that all about? What did he want? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Because she was sure he didn’t do it from the goodness of his heart. Yet, she found herself not really caring about his motives - and just finding comfort in the presence of another human being. Someone, who didn’t want to cheer her up, who didn’t want to give her advice, who didn’t judge her. Someone who was just there, when she needed just that - someone being there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’d been restless and took up running in the evenings, because it helped her clean her mind and not go into an overdrive. One evening after she cried in the woods for the second time with Armitage being there, Rose noticed Rey and Kylo… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben, she corrected herself mentally,</span>
  </em>
  <span> at a table outside sitting next to each other deep in conversation. Both seemed exhausted, their sabers on the table next to them, they probably trained before. They were looking at something in front of them and he seemed to explain something with wide hand motions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose stepped over to them before she could have changed her mind. She practically stood at the table, but the two were two deep into conversation, or maybe each other that they didn’t notice her until she cleared her throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rose! Hello! How are you?” Rey greeted her with a wide smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello!” Rose answered and felt pretty awkward for not talking to Rey since Ben regained consciousness. It was also weird that even though she knew who he was, Ben probably had no idea about her. Rose glanced at him and met his curious eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey got the clue. “Oh. Rose, this is Ben, Ben, this is my friend Rose. She’s a great mechanic, and an even greater friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose wasn’t sure what the protocol was. Kriff, she didn’t even know how she should feel about Ben Solo slash Kylo Ren. He was on the wrong side, yes, but for some reason, she always registered Hux as a mass murderer, while Kylo Ren in himself seemed like a weapon. Mostly to destroy individuals. She had know idea why she thought that, when obviously both men were war criminals. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, as she looked at him what she saw was a regular man (if we don’t count his height, but well, everybody was tall compared to Rose), looking embarrassed at the moment. Rose took pity and extended her hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi! Ohm, good to meet you, I guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, nice to meet you Rose!” Ben stood up as he accepted her hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose flinched and her eyes flickered to their hands. He was crushing hers. Ben caught her eye motion and quickly released her hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry. Didn’t mean to… Old habits die hard. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” she looked back at Rey. “Could I talk to you sometime? When you are done with… this?” she motioned towards the paper on the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey looked back at Ben and they seemed to have communicated without words. Rose wasn’t sure if it was some kind of Force-thing, or really just body-language with a person you are close with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We are done actually.” Ben answered and collected the things on the table. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart.” he pressed a kiss on top of Rey’s head who beamed at him in return. “Bye, Rose.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose took his place at the desk. “Rey. I don’t know how to start. I ohm, have a question for you, I guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her friend was searching her face, maybe reading her in the Force, if that was a thing, but she looked encouraging, so she stared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know we haven’t talked for a while, and this is out of the blue, but… this is what I want to talk about, I guess. I’ve been avoiding you since... “ Rose tried to remember when this stared. “well, since Ben woke up, I think.” she wondered how easily his name came to her lips without thinking.  “I am just… I was just… so angry… And hurt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tears started to collect in her eyes, and she couldn’t stop them from rolling down on her cheeks. Rey didn’t hesitate, but moved closer and embraced Rose tightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey. It’s fine.” Rey offered comfort. “I understand. These are strange times, for all of us, emotions and feelings are all over the place, it’s all right, Rose. We are still friends. You’re good, you’re fine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose finally let go of what she was holding back and sobbed into the neck of Rey.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just… it hurts so much… Paige… And I’m angry, but I can’t anymore... It exhausts me.... It hurts me… I don’t want to… And he was so nice… Like he understood… And I don’t know how to… how to… forgive…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey stroked her back, and though she didn’t fully understand what Rose was talking about, she kept reassuring her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok. I understand. It’s hard. But you’ll figure it out. In your own time. Be kind to yourself, Rose.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Rose’s sobs quieted down and her tears dried on her face, she pulled away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But how do I forgive him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Him as…?” Rey asked, because she had her suspicions, but wanted to be sure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hux. Armitage.” Rose paused for a second and Rey didn’t interrupt her. “He was nice to me. Kind, even... Yes... And it felt good. But also, it felt wrong. Like I’m fraternizing with the enemy. I feel like I should forgive him. Not because he deserves it, but because I do… I’m not making sense…” she looked up, partly because she was just embarrassed by her rambling, and partly to make her tears stop before they appear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, actually, that’s very mature. And that you reached this conclusion shows that you are on the right way.” Rey said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you forgive to Ben?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I think I knew that he deeply regrets what he had done, and I know it pains him still. And I don’t know… I just decided that I loved him more than his mistakes. I don’t think that can be applied to your case, though.” Rey looked questioningly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… I mean, I know that he’s sorry. I found him a few weeks back in the forest, and he looked like… I don’t know… he looked like... he wanted to… hurt himself, I don’t know.” Rose remembered back to that day and found herself saying things that had been in the back of her mind for a long time, but never consciously. “And you know, I just don’t want any more deaths. Not even his. And I also think that even if Paige had died by his hands, which she didn’t… Well, not technically… Even then, we were all just soldiers in a war bigger than ourselves. And we all knew what war meant. Paige and me both knew that we could die any day, and we tried to spend as much time together as we could.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey looked at Rose curious, but didn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What I’m getting at is that, I guess that Armitage is here, I just found someone I can blame and pour my anger on, which is not really fair, I guess. I mean, it’s not like he’s innocent, but ah, I don’t know.” Rose sighed. “Is it too bad that I think that he was just a pawn, and it could have been anybody else in his place? Is it because I want to believe that he’s all right, because he was nice to me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rose, I don’t have the answers to these questions.” Rey said apologetically. “You have to find them yourself. But you seem to be on the right track.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose let out a slow breath. “You know, just talking about these makes me feel better. Maybe I don’t need these answers. Maybe it’ll work out with time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose knew that Hux retired to his tent around 9, so around that time, she walked over, and she’s not sure how to knock, or let him know of her presence. So she called his name a few times, but no answer. Where could he be, she wanders? It took her a tremendous amount of willpower to get herself to seek him out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She was not going to look for him anywhere else. But if she was already there, she wanted to make sure he wasn’t there, so she opened the material and poked her head inside, just to find herself staring at Armitage pulling down a t-shirt on his chest. For a second, she actually enjoyed the view – his chest was pale, and not too muscly, but toned and she could make out his muscles. He must have worked out, she caught herself thinking, before she shrieked and as she stepped backwords, she tripped and landed on her butt.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Hux immediately stepped out of his tent looking concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Miss Rose, are you ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose panicked „I’m so sorry, why the kriff wouldn’t you say anything when I called your name?” she was talking fast and loud.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Hux looked frightened „You called me? I didn’t hear. Why were you looking for me? Is there something wrong?” he extended his arm to pull her up. „Let me help you!” She looked at his extended hand, but accepted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I’m sorry to walk in on you like that.” She collected herself. „I...” she started to think why she actually came to Hux. „Can we go inside? Mosquitoes are eating me alive, and it’s dark.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Hux learnt to control his facial expressions in the First Order, but this time he needed everything he got not to show surprise. He stepped inside and kept the fold of the tent open for Rose to enter. He was a gentleman with manners, but he wasn’t sure what was the protocol when entering tents. Especially if that was his sleeping quarters.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There were two camping beds on the two sides of the tent, though Hux occupied the tent by himself. The makeshift bed on the left seemed to be in use, though it was very neatly made. There was a nightstand between the mattresses and Rose noticed a book, but it was upside down and she couldn’t make out the title. There was a lamp hanging from the ceiling, and it was slightly moving.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When they were both inside, he gestured to the unused bed for her to sit. Rose sat down uneasy, but stayed quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Miss Rose...?” Armitage encouraged.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose was visibly nervous and this made her snap „Why do you call me that? Nobody calls me that!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Hux stared at her sheepishly „How shall I call you then?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Rose. I’m just Rose.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Ok... Rose.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose looked very tense and was still quiet, so Armitage waited a minute, then two, three. Until she was ready to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„In the forest. When I was crying...” she started and he looked up at her. „You sat with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded confirming the truth in her words. „Why?” she asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„You looked at me, seemed so lonely. I didn’t want to impose myself on you, I’m sorry. I should have known I was the last person you wanted to see when you were in pain.” – He tried to keep emotions out of his voice. This was purely rational, but he felt his heart aching.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose raised her watery eyes to his. „I feel so alone these days. After Paige died, the war was still raging, and I had to do my job, I had to work hard and fight. But since we won, everything is just so empty, and I don’t have anything to distract me from thinking about her. I know people lost loved ones, but everybody seems to just get on with their lives. And I’m stuck. I miss Paige more than anything, and I can’t talk about her, because then they’ll try to cheer me up. But I just can’t be happy right now, but they don’t understand. I’m lonely, yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage wanted to give her comfort more than anything, but for one, he wasn't sure how, besides, he realized he was the very reason Rose felt like this. If it hadn’t been for him, Paige would be alive. So he opted for „Tell me about her!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And words started to pour. She talked  about their childhood, their shared love for fathiers, and their days at the resistance. She knew Armitage was listening intently. Sometimes he asked questions, but mainly he was quiet. Though they both laughed hard at Rose’s stories about how she pranked her sister when they were teens.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Hux wasn’t thinking how they ended up like this, he just enjoyed that out of all people, Rose talked to him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When she was out of words and her tears dried, she said thank you again „You know, I talked with Rey a lot about you, and forgiveness. I don’t think that you killed Paige. She died in battle, she knew what she was getting into, we all knew. You were on the bad side, yeah, but if it hadn’t been you, it would have been someone else in your place... And Leia keeps telling us that when something is trying to hurt you, it was usually hurt by something bigger...” she paused. „Did something... someone hurt you, too, Armitage?” she asked very soft and gentle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked at her hesitating a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I... I never really thought of it like this... But my mother died when I was three, and my father... he was an arsehole. He humiliated me every chance he got... And he...” he never admitted this to anybody, but Rose had been so honest with him, and he wanted to reciprocate. „He beat me... so bad that sometimes I thought I was going to die... And I had no control over it... First I tried to... tried to figure out what I did wrong, so I could avoid it. But it was just so random... It took me a long time to realize that it wasn’t me, it was him...”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I’m sorry for what happened to you” said Rose compassionately and for a moment she forgot that it was Hux she was talking too, and raised her hand to touch his, but the movement broke halfway and she awkwardly pulled her hand back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>„Yeah, thanks. But none of this is an excuse for what I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Thank you for the talk, Armitage. It’s late, I better get going. You’re not what I thought you’d be like.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„What am I like then?” he asked eagerly. He was craving for something nice from her.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„You’re a good listener.” Rose answered as she was leaving his tent. Then she added „Good night, Armitage!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>’Night, Rose!” he answered.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I appreciate kudos and comments even more! :) <br/>What did you think of this installment?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is so fluffy we're all gonna die. :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Armitage was secretly hoping that Rose would visit him again. He tried to go about his day as usual, but she smiled at him at breakfast (even if she sat at another table), and that simply made his day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt light. Since he was at the Resistance, Rose became the axis of his universe, everything was revolving around her. First, she was the one who greeted him and made sure he had everything and knew how things worked. Even if she hated doing it, she did it. And he heard the other Resistance fighters talking about her – everyone loved her. Because she was welcoming, down-to-earth, kind. Everything he wasn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And ever since the campfire on Life Day, he had realized that his feelings towards her were more than friendly. He knew nothing would ever happen between then, given his background, but he couldn’t help himself. She attracted his gaze, his eyes were looking for her even when he was not conscious of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Rose didn’t show up the next day. Or the day after that. For the third day, he had given up hope, but as he was getting ready to start his evening routine, he heard her soft voice calling his name.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Armitage! Are you in there?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He stepped out of his tent, hoping that she would want to come in, but he didn’t dare to assume.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Hi! I’m here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Uh, um, can we...” Rose awkwardly gestured towards the tent.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„After you.” Armitage offered.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They resumed the same spots they sat the last time. It started with a long silence again, but this time Armitage asked the question:</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Rose, why did you come again?” even to him, it sounded like he didn’t want her there, so he felt like he needed to add something „I mean, it’s fine...” he trailed off, it was more than fine, it made him happy that she was there, but he couldn’t admit that. „I mean if you want to talk... or not talk... I’m available.” What the kriff was he saying? It was getting worse and worse. „But I guess you know that, and... I’ll stop talking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„You’re funny, Armitage.” She admitted and he flinched.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Nobody ever found him funny. That was kind of his point that nobody would laugh at him. But now, he did want to be funny, because she seemed to like it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I don’t know why I came.” She confessed. „It just felt so good to get things off my chest the last time. Without being judged, without having to put on a show for others, because they expect me to be cheery and happy. And I guess I’m not afraid that you’ll have a bad opinion about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Hmm.” He answered. „I believe I don’t have to be afraid that you will have a bad opinion about me, either. It cannot really be any worse than it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose gifted him a bittersweet smile.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I’m kind of coming around, you know. I’m here after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„You are.” He admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Then they started to </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Rose told him about how Finn never has time for her, since he met Jannah, and Armitage felt a strong urge to go find Finn and punch him in the face, but he just listened. Then the subject changed and he found himself talking about his days at the First Order. First, he was reserved, because he didn’t want to scare Rose or remind her of his past, but it seemed fine.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to make her laugh, so he told him what he heard about Stormtroopers pranking each other.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„You’re just making this up.” Rose was lifting her hand to cover her laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„No! I mean I don’t know if this is true, but I did hear them talk about it...”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was getting late, so Rose excused herself, but before she could have said goodbye, he asked „Will you come tomorrow, too?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I... don’t know.” she admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But she did show up. And almost every day after that. Their ritual was always the same: Rose arrived, called him, Armitage came out of his tent, invited her in, they sat in silence until one of them broke it. And then they talked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage felt his life filling up with color. He started to smile more, and opened up to people a bit more. This was a game-changer – people started to like him. He felt it, because they would touch him on the shoulder, ask his opinion on small things, and when they sat at his table, they actually started conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose visited him every evening. They saw each other during the day, Rose always acknowledged him, and sometimes ate with him, but the nights were their time. It came as a complete surprise to him, when Rose hugged him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was telling her about how he felt when he first saw Ben at the Resistance base. He was ashamed of his petty feelings, looking back, and Rose probably sensed it, because she scooched closer to him and wrapped her hands around him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage was in shock for a moment. He was never a touchy person, but touching in the first order was like the plague – they avoided it at all cost, they even wore gloves to prevent it. But Rose didn’t seem to share this notion, because she was as close to him as it gets.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He experimentally put his hands on her back, and she squeezed him, which he took as encouragement. He snuck his face to the crook of her neck and they stayed like that until Rose felt something wet on her shoulder. She pulled away:</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Armitage, you’re crying?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His face was wet and he was wiping it wildly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I am not.” he denied the obvious fact.  „Rose, can you please leave now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„But...” she tried to object, but Armitage interrupted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„PLEASE!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose couldn’t figure out what just happened, but she knew she wasn’t welcome anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She tried to talk to Armitage the next day, but he seemed to avoid her. When she showed up at breakfast, he left, and she didn’t even see him at lunch or dinner. Rose also tried to find him at his tent, but he wasn’t around. She braved a look inside, too, but he wasn’t there either, so she waited half an hour then left.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The next day was the same, and she tried to ask Kiana if she knew anything, but she had no idea what Rose was talking about. This time, Rose decided that no matter how long it took, she would wait for him at his tent. She sat down on the grass, next to the entrance of the tent. Occasionally greeted the passers-by, who looked at her with wide eyes, but nobody asked her why she was there.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Half an hour passed and she was getting cold. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on them. She probably passed out, because the next thing she registered was somebody next to her gently shaking her shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Rose! Wake up! You can’t sleep here. It’s dark already. Let me walk you back to your tent!” she heard the soft voice of Armitage.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t wanna” she murmured sleepy.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Rose, come on! It’s late!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What were you doing this late?” she asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I went for a run.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But you run in the mornings!” She knew his schedule.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, I switched it.” he shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“To avoid me! What did I do?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, Rose, I need to get a shower and you need to get to your tent, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not until you talk to me!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed and nodded „Ok, let’s go inside, but I must warn you that I smell. I did not plan any human contact after my run.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She took the liberty and walked inside his tent. It was a lot warmer. She didn’t even notice it was that cold outside.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„You can have a shower if you want, but I’ll be waiting for you here. And you will talk!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Sounds like you have some special interrogation techniques for me” </span>
  <em>
    <span>he sounded flirty, or was it just her imagination?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>„Just go, Armitage and hurry!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She lay down on the bed and took a pillow and blanket from Armitage’s bed. When he came back fifteen minutes later smelling clean, she was huddled up in the blanket.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage looked organized, his hair was wet, but combed and he was wearing checked cotton pants, a white t-shirt under a black hoodie. Rose felt a mess compared to him, but he had different standards for order. He sat down on his own bed this time.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„So...?” she said encouragingly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„So what, Rose?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Why the kriff are you avoiding me, and what happened three days ago? You literally chased me out. And you’re now sitting on your bed, like a mile away from me. I guess you owe me an explanation.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I don’t owe you anything, Rose. We’re not family, we’re not friends, I...”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„What do you mean we’re not friends?!” she interrupted. Then realized that she was yelling and some people probably already were asleep. „Then what are we?” she angry-whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„There is no ’we’, Rose!” he said in a calm voice.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I don’t know what twisted definitions you had at the First Order, but when you have someone whom you talk to every day, and who listens to you and understands you, and tells you his thoughts, and you understand him and want to spend time with him, we call that person a friend. So yes, we </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> friends and you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> owe me an explanation! I wasn’t waiting hours for you so you can throw it in my face that I’m not your friend. Is that understood?!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage almost smiled, it made him feel so good that she considered him a friend. But that was exactly the problem.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I can’t be your friend. I am responsible for the elimination of whole planets, killing millions. Including your sister.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A tear rolled out of Rose’s eye. „Armitage, please, come sit with me here.” She said in a broken voice, inviting him closer. He couldn’t resist her sadness, so he relocated on the other bed, closer to her, and then she continued, „You remember that I said that we cannot change the past, but we can shape the future? I stand by that.” Her voice was so low and gentle that it was breaking his heart. „You weren’t my favorite in the past, but I got to know you, and I think you got to know yourself, too. Please, don’t let your past define your present and future! There is so much for you in the world. Let me be your friend!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Rose!” her name is like a sigh on his lips. „You can’t pretend my past doesn’t exist.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I don’t. But I made my peace with it. And you should, too, Armie!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This is the first time, she ever used a nickname for him, and he kind of liked it. Her voice was so comforting, and relaxing that he felt he could listen to her forever. And the things she said – they gave him hope.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I don’t care if you have to cry over it, or talk about it, or hug it out, I’m here for you, Armie.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> crying.” He said frowning.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Yeah, I know” Rose rolled her eyes. „But if you had, that would have been fine. You know, women in general find it attractive if a man can express his feelings.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ok, that came out like flirting</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she thought.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Do you?” he asked back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ok, that was definitely flirting. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But then he shook his head and corrected himself „I mean, I don’t care.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose blushed, but she felt like they didn’t resolve the problem, so she pressed on „So friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Rose Tico, you are the most stubborn person I’ve met in my life. There is no objection to you. I give in. We’re friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Yaay” she did a little dance move with her fists. „Now walk me back to my tent, cause I don’t have a flashlight.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They walked in the dark, Armitage holding a flashlight, and Rose holding on to his arm. It was quite big. He wasn’t overly muscular, but he had a nice figure and strong arms.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When they arrived, Rose grabbed his hand for a second and squeezed it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And she disappeared into her tent.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Are you coming to the surprise ball Rey and Ben are organizing for Leia?” Rose asked Armitage when they were coming back from their shared run in the evening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their evening hangouts became a regular thing. Mostly they just talked in Armitage’s tent or shared a cup of tea in the dining hall or went for a run like this time.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I don’t think anybody would like me there. Yeah, people kind of made peace with my presence, but I’m still not welcome when they want to enjoy themselves. Besides, it is a ball, nobody would dance with me, so I don’t see the point.” He answered.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I would. Please come, or you’ll condemn me to watch all the happy couples while I sit alone somewhere. I need you to laugh with me at Finn stepping on Jannah’s feet for the hundredth time. Please, come!” pleaded Rose.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„If you dance with me, then I’ll go.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Oh, I was just saying that in a theoretical way. I don’t dance...” Rose blushed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Then I am sorry, but I have to refuse. After all, this is a ball.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Alright, alright. I’ll dance with you, but wear some protective shoes, because I’m going to be crashing your feet.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I don’t think that’ll be needed.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This is how Rose ended up pushed against Armitage’s chest while he was leading her in the dance.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was a lot better in a lot of ways than Rose expected. First of all, it was not a formal event, some people knew how to dance, some didn’t, so everybody did their own thing, and it was comfortable not having to pretend you know something you don’t. Secondly, Armitage was a surprisingly good dancer, and even though she had no idea what the steps were, he led her in a way that let her know without a doubt what she was expected to do.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Also, it was worse in some other ways than Rose expected. Being this close to Armitage was something she wasn’t prepared for. She did know that dancing involved some touching and that they would be close, but being pressed against him was more than intoxicating. He held her firmly, yet gently, and he had a nice, warm, soapy smell that she never noticed before.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage was ridiculously tall compared to Rose, but that didn’t matter, she could have danced the whole night with him, it was so comfortable and safe. Of course, that shouldn’t have happened, so she danced a bit with Finn – it was more like a freestyle thing far enough from each other, so they couldn't step on each other’s toes. And a couple other Resistance members asked her to dance, too.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>One of them even admitted that he saw her dancing with Hux and thought she needed saving. Rose politely laughed with him then she danced the next one with Armitage again. Because he knew how to dance, compared to his „saviour” or any other man on the dance floor, for that matter.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage kept her company throughout the night, even when they didn’t dance, he was around her. It was around midnight, when Rose admitted that her legs are not able to support her anymore, so she would like to call it a night.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„All right, may I walk you to your tent?” asked Armitage looking in her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As they walked, they shared their favorite moments from the ball.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When they arrived at her tent, they stopped. For a few seconds, they were both at a loss to what to say, then Rose said something first:</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Armitage, I’m so glad you came. I had a great time with you. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at her for a moment, his eyes serious, observing her, almost hesitating. Then he slowly leaned down to Rose until their lips met for a quick second.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Her response was instant. He put her arms around his neck, to pull him back down to her to kiss. His lips on hers was a dream. Soft, and welcoming, but it was pretty uncomfortable after a minute, because of their height difference.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose broke the kiss “This is pretty uncomfortable” she giggled. “Do you wanna go inside to sit or something...?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Yeah, sure!” said Armitage and let Rose lead him inside her tent.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The tent was the same size as his, but it had a bunk bed and an additional cabinet probably for clothes. Rose gestured towards the lower bunk. Armitage sat down, and what was a comfortable distance between the upper and lower bed for Rose, wasn’t for Armitage. He had to lean forward not to hit his head. It made them both laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage stood up and towered above Rose as he asked „Shall we go to my place?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rose felt a bit awkward, but nodded. Armitage took her hand and they hurried to his tent. They stopped at the entrance, and looked at each other waiting for the other to do something.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„So, uh, you want to... uh... come in?” Armitage tried to break the tension.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„I do, but I also don’t” she whispered, staring at the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Because it’s me?” he asked shyly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„What?” she looked up at surprise, and his expression just broke her heart. She reached up to cup his face in her hands and she stroked his beard with her thumbs. „No, Armie, no! It is just that I... I only kissed one man before and well, it was not a success.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His face loosened up then he raised an eyebrow „Who was that bastard, who...?” he started but Rose interrupted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„It’s fine, Armie, just I’m a bit scared. Can we just go inside? Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage grabbed her hand, and pulled Rose inside after himself. He settled on the spare bed where they usually talked, and Rose was just so grateful that he didn't sit on his bed. Armitage was like ten years older than him, and she was sure much more experienced in things than she was.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She grew up in war and finding a partner was never an issue when she had to fight for survival.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She only kissed Finn in the heat of the battle at Crait, but she didn’t even remember what was on her mind. She probably just didn’t want to die without knowing what it’s like to kiss. They talked about it with Finn later and agreed to forget about it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Armitage pulled her into his lap and cradled her.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Is this OK?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded and he pressed his lips on hers. It was magic. Rose could feel his hands on her back and neck, constantly touching her. She was shy at the beginning, but then she dug into his hair, and touched his arm, and his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some time later, they were laying on the bed making out, and only came up for air.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Armie!” she whispered his name.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„Hmmm” he didn’t stop kissing her lips, her cheeks, her neck.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>„You’re really good at this.” Rose confessed. Feeling the same way during dancing. She had no idea what she was doing, but in his arms, she felt safe and cared for. She had the notion that she should feel guilty, but the thought quickly left her. After the war they have to grab every little opportunity for happiness and joy. And she was exactly doing that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad, you’re enjoying yourself.” he whispered into her ear and that made her stiffen in a second, feeling insecure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you…? Is this good for you, too?” she hated that her voice sounded so tiny. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I…” he pulled away and couldn’t finish his sentence, which conformed Rose’s worst fears - that she was indeed a terrible kisser. She sat up and he followed her move. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes flickered away in shame. She couldn’t believe that this time she willingly gave power to his man to hurt her. Anger started to swell in her, but then Armitage touched her face, cupping her right cheek to turn it toward her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are amazing, Rose. Just so amazing. In every way. And I just want you to… to make you feel good, because you deserve it, Rose Tico. Unlike me. Shouldn’t matter if I feel good. I don’t deserve to feel good. Definitely not this good. I don’t deserve your time, or energy, your touch, your kisses. I’m not worthy of them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose suddenly felt at a loss of words. She completely misread the situation and she just had no idea what to say to that, so instead of saying she leaned forward and kissed him sweet and slow, while digging in his soft hair that made him melt into her touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they broke apart, words finally came to her:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not how this works, silly!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He obviously wanted to disagree, but Rose silenced him with another kiss, and he seemed to give in. After a while, they stopped kissing and just lay on the bed tangled, until they fell asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose was not used to sharing a bed. She was not used to having a man she cared about so close to her. And she was not used to having a great time with the man she cared about. Probably these were the reasons why she couldn’t properly sleep and woke up every half hour or so…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All the romantic novels she read talked about how well people slept in the arms of a loved one. Well, now she knew it was not true. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please, let me know how you liked this chapter! :)<br/>I appreciate kudos and comments, they help me write faster!! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please, let me know what you think!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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